is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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