when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
