blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
40s are totally the cure
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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