does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
