About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
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There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
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Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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