If i come over, it means nothing
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize