every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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