Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
