Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
