So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
