So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
