You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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