Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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