Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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