marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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