Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
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