I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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