omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
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