Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Randomize
