how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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