I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
