She is in my trunk
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
