oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
