epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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