everyone is single if you try hard enough
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sober January is a disaster.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize