I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
