I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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