they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
