I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Liz is crying about burritos again.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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