Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
You dont lie about slip and slides
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
