She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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