My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I made him laugh his dick is mine
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
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