she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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