Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
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I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
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What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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