Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
