Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
