If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
