I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
