I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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