so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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