Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
