OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize