Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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