I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
