I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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