Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
