I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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