Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
