im six kinds of drunk right now
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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