I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
