just tell him i said nine months
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
birth control should be required to get into college
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
