Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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