so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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