can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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