so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
