Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
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He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
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Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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