The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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