I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
