I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
