I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
