Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Actions speak louder than pants.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize