:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
