im about as happy as oj after his trial
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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